What I Know To Be True About Creating The Relationship Of Your Dreams…

Over the last 5 years, I’ve made many decisions in my relationship that have gone beyond sense or logic.

It was March 2019 when my (now) husband asked me to be his girlfriend. I was travelling around South America with friends at the time and still paying rent for my flat in London… yet I decided on the spot to move straight in with him… over in Spain. I booked my flight to Spain whilst I was in Colombia and THEN told my mum (and found someone online to sub-let my room so that I had my rent covered at least)!

Having never met my partner’s family before, who live in Peru, I decided to meet them in Lima, without my partner knowing (so I could set up a surprise for him). With my basic Spanish at the time, and his parents speaking no English, you can only imagine our conversations (via Google translate ha!).

After 6 incredible months of living in Barcelona together, we decided it was time to leave as the independence protests and strikes in the city were getting worse, with violence erupting in the streets. Our plan? We used our savings and booked an epic 6-week trip around Vietnam and the Philippines. We had no plan beyond that.

After 10 months, we got engaged! “Why the rush!?” people thought. One person even asked if I was pregnant (hello societal conditioning!!).

Then, we decided to move to London, with nowhere to live and no plan for my career. A week before moving, we found a flat online and the landlord picked us, having only spoken to her virtually!

I then decided to set up my own business the same week I discovered I was pregnant. I had less than 9 months to make this new business work… and it did! Thankfully, I made enough money in that time to cover my rent and bills whilst I was on maternity leave the following year.

When I was 6 months pregnant, we booked a 2-month trip to Mexico & Peru, despite super strict Covid rules. The day after we arrived in Peru, they banned ALL Brits from entering the country…

As a couple, we continue to make decisions based on what makes US happy - and sometimes these can seem wild or surprising because they’re not decisions other people would make - but every single time we’ve followed what lights us up, everything has worked out better than we could have even planned!

Our dream wedding in Mexico, Dec 2022.

And so here’s what I’ve learnt…

Love is NOT logical.

LOVE IS CREATIVE!

When you listen to your truth, to what feels right, you make decisions that create a life you absolutely LOVE. A life that makes you both happy. And when YOU are happy, you become magnetic and your relationship thrives. 

So, focus on YOU. Do what makes YOU happy (even if it makes no sense at times) because there is no right or wrong when it comes to creativity. There is only LOVE - which is the truest expression of who you are.

This is why any relationship of dreams will always come down to the feeling that you can completely BE YOURSELF around each other.

A relationship is a co-creation. It’s ever-evolving. And to make it your dream relationship, you have to CREATE it together.

This can look like:
Finding solutions

Exploring together
Trying something new

Cooking a yummy meal
Making space for each other
Spontaneous acts of kindness
Planning date nights in and out

Doing what makes you (both) happy
Being open to new perspectives/adventures/creations

Having a difficult conversation and expressing how you truly feel
Creating an emotionally safe space for your partner to open up in

SIDE NOTE: This does not mean every day has to be all sunshine and roses, or even much different from the day before. It means you get to create little moments throughout your days that are meaningful (as well as the big gestures and adventures, of course), and over time, these stack up and create a dream relationship that’s rock solid… and so when that hard times do hit, you know you’ll get through them together.

PS. If you’d love support creating your own dream relationship, or to reignite a relationship, check out my FLAME TO THE BLAME experience or get in touch via the Contact button and I’d be happy to discuss how I can help!